TW: Death of a loved one.

(Beta-read by Mylethologica)

When they got to the house, they were surprised to see Iahn’s mother sitting at the kitchen table. It was unusual for her to be home at this time. Her face looked serious as she stared at a small pile of papers in front of her. If Yuen didn’t know any better, he would say her eyes were solemn.

 

At first, Yuen thought it was work or something, but he’d never actually seen the woman work and he was skeptical that she hadn't just lied about having an office job. However, when she noticed them come in she looked over, eyes catching on Iahn behind him. She sat up a little like she’d been waiting for him to get home.

 

“Your grandfather passed away this morning.”

 

...Gill was...gone...?

 

Yuen hadn’t even processed the words before he heard a thud behind him and whirled around to see Iahn’s backpack on the floor. Something inside it broke as it hit the floor— Yuen heard it, but everything sounded like it was underwater up until the crash snapped him out of it, just in time to hear the most noise Iahn’s ever made in this house as he ran up the stairs and slammed his bedroom door.

 

There were many ways a person could react to news like this. Running to his room wasn’t extreme — Yuen half expected him to just sink to the floor and stay there, shell-shocked until someone moved him.

 

---

 

Iahn hadn’t left his room for days for any reason other than to sit in the shower until the water was long past cold.

 

Their parents were busy dealing with legal stuff and Gill’s will. They’ve barely had any time to notice the kid.

 

Yuen had just gotten home and was heading to his room with Andy and Parker when he heard the woman stomping down the hall, yelling, “He’s missed how many days?”

 

Yuen was quick to go see what was going on and watched her slam Iahn’s door open, already yelling before she’s even through. “I get that you’re upset but we knew this was going to happen, Iahn! I let it slide the first day, but you can’t miss this much school for someone who isn't here anymore. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you. You can’t mope around for the rest of it!”

 

The other two had come out of the room when they saw Yuen disappear through the doorway but refrained from calling after him as they watched Yuen go into Iahn’s room. A moment later, a glitzy, silver-rhinestone cell phone came flying out and made both of them jump as it all but shattered against the wall, sending little jewels flying over the carpet and leaving a dent in the drywall that had them wincing. Yuen will no doubt get in trouble for that later, but they were more focused on the spiderweb cracks across the entire screen.

 

All they heard was the cold, borderline murderous tone of their grumpiest best friend, “Leave him the fuck alone.”

 

Andy and Parker glanced at each other with identical expressions of shock, their mouths dropped open and eyes wide. They knew Yuen fought with his stepmother but not like this. They stand there, waiting with bated breath and debating whether they should go see what’s going on or leave the family to sort it out, but they don’t have to make a choice —  a couple of seconds later Yuen’s stepmother storms out.

 

Her pencil skirt that was too short to be office appropriate made it difficult to crouch and pick up her phone. They could tell just from a glimpse of her face that she was furious, but as she set eyes on the two of them her demeanor instantly shifted to more of a huffy princess —which did not suit a middle-aged woman with a budding teenage boy— before she stomped down the stairs, looking like the slightest breeze could fling her down the steps. It would be lying if either of them said they weren't tempted to be that breeze.

 

They knew Iahn’s mom wasn’t the best human being, but this was… another level. Yelling at your kid for missing school because they’re grieving? And she didn’t seem all that upset about her father passing away, either. Granted, not everyone was close with their parents— some people even hated them and for good reason— but this…was a little extreme. After all, the man was raising her son when she was off doing who knows what.

 

Yuen was fuming as she left. He didn’t take his sharp glare off of her until she was gone from sight. Only then did he turn to look at Iahn. Except he wasn’t there.

 

Panic struck through him like a bolt of lightning. He completely ignored his friends as they came in and asked something that he didn’t actually hear.

 

It wasn’t long before they realized why he was freaking out.

 

“Calm down. He probably just wanted to be alone. He’s gotta be around here somewhere. We’ll find him.” Parker gave Yuen’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

 

Yuen took a breath and nodded.

 

“You check up here, Parker and I will check downstairs and out back.” Andy declared and all three of them set out to search the house for Iahn.

 

What started out as a calm, simple search soon turned to a confused and worried search.

 

They searched for half an hour, crossing paths with each other every few minutes, exchanging places where they had looked and hadn’t yet. As the minutes ticked by, and they still couldn’t find him, Parker decided to call the others to see if — by some miracle — they'd seen him or had any more ideas of where to look.

 

Another half-hour came and went, and the rest of the teens turned up at Yuen’s house after having searched nearby, at the park, at the school, even going to a few places that Casey’s younger siblings told him kids hang out sometimes. Searching both inside and outside of the house turned out to be a much bigger job than expected, but even with all seven of them running around like headless chickens, searching every nook and cranny they could find, they still had no luck.

 

Everyone ended up in Yuen’s living room another hour later, out of ideas and having scoured pretty much the entire neighborhood. It was possible that Iahn had gone to a friend’s house without saying anything but it just seemed so out of character for him that it was hard to believe that, and there was no way to confirm it because none of them knew Iahn’s friends. They weren’t even sure he had friends who lived close enough for him to go to their houses.

 

A pool of dread festered in Yuen’s stomach, growing every minute Iahn was missing. There was one more place Iahn might be.

 

Right before Yuen moved to grab his stuff and take an hour-long train ride, Casey suddenly shouted, “Everybody shut up!”

 

The room went dead quiet in a heartbeat and in the silence, there was the faint sound of digitized ringing. Yuen looked over and saw Casey with his phone to his ear.

 

Allen followed the ringing up the stairs, the others right behind him, and back into Iahn’s room, but it sounded weird. The ringing was clearly coming from this direction but Iahn’s phone wasn’t in here. It almost sounded like… like it was coming from above them.

 

All of them looked up, eyebrows furrowing in confusion, and Yuen remembered something from the first few weeks Iahn was here. When he had stormed in here before school, Iahn was on the floor in front of his closet, blinking owlishly at him, and there was white powdery stuff on his shoulder, his legs caked in dust.

 

The others shared looks of confusion as Yuen went to the open closet and looked up, spotting exactly what he’s looking for.

 

“Give me a boost.” Yuen waved Lucifer over. The youngest came over without question, along with Allen and Andy, and all three of them boosted him up to the obvious, slightly ajar hatch on the ceiling. He pushed it aside and the boys below watched as their small grumpy friend disappeared into the darkness of the attic.

 

The phone had stopped ringing by then but they had no choice but to wait, straining their ears until quiet talking slowly filled the silence, one word being most distinct— “Iahn.”

 

Everyone relaxed, releasing breaths they didn’t realize they were holding and exchanged glances with brief, relieved smiles.

 

That was scarier than they thought it would be. It wasn’t uncommon for kids to disappear into hiding for a while, conceptually they knew that but it felt so much worse when it actually happened; making them all think Iahn had run away. Especially when none of them knew Iahn well enough to know where he would go if he actually did that.

 

They can’t make out what was being said and can only wait (with slightly less anxiety) to find out if Iahn was actually up there and ok or if Yuen had finally lost it.

 

---

 

Yuen crawled towards the impossibly small figure curled up in the corner, ignoring the pain when he bangs his knee and shoulder in the cramped space. “What are you doing up here?”

 

Iahn didn't move. Didn't so much as blink his puffy, swollen lids over his dead, bloodshot eyes. He just stared ahead and Yuen wondered if he even heard him, but he knew Iahn had. He just didn’t care.

 

Yuen’s attempts to get Iahn to go back down to his room were met with total silence and not moving so much as a muscle. It made it pretty clear that Iahn had no intention of going anywhere; if he even heard what Yuen was asking.

 

Yuen finally sighed and crawled back over to the hatch. Iahn expected him to leave, and the others expected him to come down, but Yuen just stared down at his friends and said, “Pass me a pillow.”

 

He was met with confused looks but after a moment Shi came into view with a pillow and passed it up to him with little trouble (damn his tall friends).

 

Once it was in hand, Yuen looked at Casey specifically. “In my room, there’s a brown envelope in the top drawer of my nightstand. Go make what’s on the paper inside.”

 

Casey raised a confused eyebrow but Yuen disappeared again before he could ask or voice any half-hearted complaints about being ordered instead of asked. It was annoying but that was just how Yuen was sometimes.

 

Whatever, since this was the first time Yuen was actually behaving like an older brother all on his own, he’d let it slide, but when this was over they’d talk about it.

 

Iahn didn’t hear most of what was said. He didn’t try to listen, but he didn’t expect Yuen to crawl back over, plop a pillow down next to him, and lie down beside him, grumbling about how dusty it was up here.

 

Part of him wanted to tell Yuen to go away, to shout at him until he did, but he didn’t have the energy, and the last, quietest part of him didn’t want to be alone even though he felt more alone than he ever had in his life. He felt abandoned, left behind. There was no going back now. Even if he could go back to Grandpa’s house, it wouldn’t be the same. No one would be there to call polo when he came through the door. There would be no more hot chocolate after playing outside all afternoon. No more messy, slow mornings making breakfast together before school. No more art room while grandpa watches TV or reads in the living room.

 

It didn’t take much for the tears to start again, even though they had only stopped for about 15 minutes. He’d been doing a lot of this but he didn’t have the capacity to care anymore. He didn’t care about school, didn’t care about getting yelled at by his mom, didn’t care if Yuen was lying next to him for some reason, and didn’t care to figure it out or ask why. He didn’t care how much he’d cried or how much time had passed. He didn’t care who saw or heard what they’d think or say, and he didn’t care when Yuen (somewhat awkwardly) got his arm under Iahn’s head and hugged him to his chest. He didn’t fight him on it and he didn’t want to think about why.

 

Yuen didn’t care either. He was furious that that goblin shit-basket of a woman would even dare come after Iahn right now — all he could see is red. And the panic he’d felt up until just a minute ago when he thought Iahn was gone... he couldn’t even think about that right now.

 

The only thing that cut through the fog in Yuen’s head was Iahn’s unnerving lack of…well, everything.

 

The only thing that even gave away that he was upset was the handful of tears sliding down his blank face every few minutes and seeping into the fabric of Yuen’s jacket. He was completely numb to the outside world and Yuen was painfully aware of how that felt.

 

That was why he was here, lying in the dusty-ass attic he didn’t even know existed, hugging his little brother and hesitantly rubbing gentle circles on his back instead of being downstairs, tearing a new asshole for that monster of a stepmother. With every circle his palm made, the more upset Iahn got, and the knot in Yuen’s chest loosened with it. Crying was better than him feeling nothing.

 

He didn't care that his shirt was getting ruined because he could only focus on Iahn’s shoulders shaking, making far less noise than a kid should. He should be wailing so loud the whole neighborhood heard it. Instead, he was making barely enough sound to fill this tiny attic, all muffled by Yuen's shirt, and most of it was just his struggle to get enough oxygen between sobs.

 

A few minutes later, Casey gently called up to them from down in the room but Yuen didn’t hear what he said. After a minute of no answer and no sign of Yuen, Parker was boosted up. They were the only two small enough — who weren't 13-year-old boys — to fit up there comfortably. Being small sometimes had its advantages, but that wouldn’t change Parker’s opinion on his own height and wouldn’t do anything to stop his grumbling and misgivings about it whenever the topic came up.

 

Yuen glanced over and saw the exact moment Parker's heart broke as the boy’s eyes adjusted to the dark.

 

There was a solemn beat of silence before Parker took the mug that was passed to him through the hatch by a familiar tan hand and quietly crawled over to the two, just loud enough that it wouldn’t startle Iahn, being careful not to spill the mug’s steaming contents.

 

Yuen felt something shift against his chest and looked down to see a glimpse of the kid he met at Gill’s house peeking out from his shirt; the sweets bloodhound.

 

He was still crying, his breath still shaking like he was on the brink of a panic attack, but his eyes fixated on the cup.

 

“Here, careful, it’s hot.” Parker held it out to him and Iahn reached for it without even thinking, weakly trying to sit up. Yuen helped him sit up and when Iahn took the cup, it almost looked like he was going to drop it, small bony hands wrapping around the warm, sunflower-yellow mug. More tears rolled down his cheeks as he stared down at it, adding saltwater to the sweet liquid.

 

Parker scooted to the other side of Iahn and hesitated before wrapping his arm around Iahn’s shoulders in silent comfort.

 

All too much relief washed over Yuen when Iahn lifted the cup and took a quiet sip, willingly drinking all the liquid over the next ten minutes. He cried the entire time, occasionally so much that he couldn’t swallow properly and nearly choked, but he finished every last drop, with Parker occasionally rubbing his arm or back.

 

Iahn cried himself to sleep in the attic eventually and it’s hard to lift him up because of the awkward space, but Yuen was finding it harder to deal with the knots twisting his chest.

 

That hot chocolate was the easiest thing to get him to eat in days. Yuen had to practically force-feed him and even then he only got a third of the way through his food. Yuen even had to slip chewable vitamins into it the last few days, just to make sure he was getting enough nutrition.

 

Yuen had a bit of difficulty getting him down the attic hatch, but thanks to Lucifer, he just had to be careful passing the kid through the opening in the ceiling, handing him into his most athletic friend’s arms. He wasn’t surprised when Iahn barely stirred while they moved him; the kid is exhausted, so it makes sense.

 

His friends shuffled out of the room after getting Parker down, leaving Yuen to tuck Iahn in and stay with his little brother.