Iahn’s stomach filled with dread as the chair pulled out beside him and Jordan sat down at April’s desk, Lee standing beside him oh-so-innocently making it seem like they were just going to have a chat with a friend during break time; But they all knew better than to believe in appearances and right on cue, they picked another fight instead.

The argument wasn’t anything they hadn’t had before and Iahn was so sick of it. He wasn’t up for giving Jordan another reality check right now. He just wanted to be left alone.

 

He tried to ignore the two and tuned out as soon as either of them spoke, but Iahn was not the only one who knew how to hit sore spots with his words.

 

None of the things they said were true, but they didn’t have to be. They were meant to make him try to retort and it was obvious that it was payback for what he’d said to Jordan about his questionable behavior towards April but it still hurt. And eventually, Jordan got fed up with being ignored.

 

He got up, being careful to avoid smacking his hands too hard on the desk to avoid the teacher’s notice as he leaned over to look down on Iahn and continued to antagonize him until Iahn’s teeth were grinding.

 

He still kept his cool until Jordan said, “No wonder you don’t have any friends.”

 

Oh that’s it—

 

Iahn stood up without warning and Jordan stumbled back into Lee, tripping over Iahn’s backpack that was on the floor. Jordan reached out to grab the first thing in reach to try and stop himself from falling — which happened to be Iahn’s shirt — and Iahn gasped, scrambling to stop his own fall as he was pulled forward, but there was nothing to grab except his own desk chair, which only came down with him as both of them crashed to the floor.

 

A loud bang startled the entire classroom as the chair hit the ground and not a second later the teacher all but shrieked, “What is going on over there!?”

 

The teacher stormed over to the pile of boys and bruised limbs on the ground.

 

Jordan hissed, holding his cheek as he tried to push himself up on his elbows and tried to figure out whose leg was on his shoulder (it was Lee’s).

 

Iahn groaned, holding his knee as he pushed the fallen chair off of his other leg and tried to sit up from where he was half-sprawled on the classmate who had literally dragged him down with him.

 

Unlike last time, when he had no choice but to let Iahn get away, Lee — as the least injured — was quick to jump on the opportunity. His finger immediately pointed at Iahn and all but shouted, “Iahn pushed him!”

 

“No I didn’t, you liar!” Iahn immediately shouted at him. He saw what he was trying to do — it was an elementary school move.

 

“That’s enough!” The teacher helped Jordan sit up, moving the chair Iahn had just gotten off of his legs and separated the limb pile into three correct pieces. “Both of you go to the principal’s office.”

 

Jordan glared at him from the opposite side of the hallway but Iahn glared right back, neither of them wanting to be anywhere near each other even though it was unavoidable given their shared destination.

 

Iahn had only been sent to the principal once in his life before and that was because the stupid substitute teacher in first grade wouldn’t let him go to the bathroom until he wet himself in class, so he just got up and walked out. Even first graders have their pride. And that stupid witch never even apologized!

 

Thinking about that, Iahn was even more upset.

 

Uggghhh, this was all Jordan’s fault! If it wasn’t for him and his creepy stalkerish approach to his crush, none of this would have happened!

 

---

 

The dean looked between the two boys sitting in front of him and could already feel a sigh building up inside him. “Who started the fight?”

 

“He pushed me!” Jordan immediately accused Iahn, almost shoving his finger into Iahn’s eye in the process.

 

“No I didn’t! He and his stupid friend—”

 

“Boys. Violence will not be tolerated in my school. You’re both in serious trouble.” The dean cut him off and Iahn’s frustration flared.

 

If he wasn’t going to listen to his side of the story, why’d he even bother to ask!? What’s the point of having all these stupid teachers if they’re going to punish the victims as much as the perpetrators!?

 

“Jordan, go to the nurse’s office and get that elbow looked at. Iahn, go wait outside. I’m going to have to call your parents.”

 

Iahn’s blood ran cold.

 

His mouth was sucked dry of moisture until he could’ve sworn that he tasted blood.

 

He didn’t even react to Jordan kicking his foot when he stood up, or the sneer directed at him as soon as the bully’s back was to the dean.

 

Jordan all but skipped out of the room with a deep sense of triumph, knowing that he’ll get out of this easily by telling his parents Iahn started it, but by the look on Iahn’s face, the other won’t be so lucky.

 

Of course, it had to be today that this happened. The day his mom and Mr. Min are coming back from their honeymoon. Which means they were at home already, and there was nothing to stop the dean from calling them.

 

---

 

Yuen glanced from the couch with an amused smirk dancing on his lips glancing at the scene going down in the kitchen. He still didn’t believe what they were saying. That kid, hit someone? Hah! He’d bet anything that it was an accident and the teacher didn’t bother to sort it out before sending him to the office. That teacher has always been like that. Yuen always hated that teacher.

 

He shook his head and resisted the urge to roll his eyes as he returned them to his stupidly thick textbook.

 

“I didn’t do it,” Iahn spoke barely above a whisper, standing in front of his mom and Mr. Min.

 

See, what did he tell ya?

 

Iahn got into a fight? That’s rich. What did he do? Play dead?

 

The kid's mother completely disregarded Iahn’s “defense”, if she even heard what he said over the sound of her own indignant huffing.

 

Yuen didn’t see why they were so hot and bothered. It was just a fight, it’s not like the kid killed someone. He reached over and snatched his phone off the coffee table as it lit up and read through Allen’s response in the group chat.

 

“Silence, young man.” The woman seethed, and Iahn shrunk under her glare filled with malice that was disproportionate to the situation. “You’re grounded for the rest of the month. Go to your room. I don’t want to see your face right now. Stupid child.”

 

Yuen’s head shot up.

 

What the hell did she just say?

 

His phone was completely forgotten in his hands, all of his attention focused on the kitchen.

 

His jaw hung slack, mouth gaping as he watched Iahn just nod and stare at his shoes, going to the staircase without arguing like it was normal to be called “stupid child” to his face by his own mother.

 

The moment he was out of the woman’s sight, she huffed, “What has gotten into that boy? How could he hit a classmate?”

 

Mrs. Min drank half her glass of wine in a single breath and her husband filled it up again as she leaned against the counter like some hot & bothered secretary after work.

 

Yuen was repulsed.

 

He was frozen on the couch as she complained, and couldn’t close his mouth no matter how hard he tried, glancing at the pair of black sneakers at the top of the steps that hadn’t moved. Their owner listening to his mother complain to her husband about her child, about how he was never like this when he was a kid. Such a sweet little boy who had always been happy to see her when she came home.

 

Yuen’s stomach rolled and he could taste bile at the back of his throat.

 

He’s known this woman less than six months, but it was long enough to know that the “sweet boy” had probably been happy to see her because he only saw his mother once every few months, and little kids aren’t told and don’t understand why adults like her leave for months at a time.

 

The amount of trash coming out of the woman’s wine-stained mouth was enough to make a dumpster jealous, and Yuen found himself too shocked to move the longer it went on. Unconsciously he switched apps on his phone and began recording it.

 

Until she said it.

 

The thing that made him want to break that glass over her head and shove the jagged pieces into her gums until she had a new row of “teeth”.

 

“Such a disappointment he’s turned out to be.” She shook her head, “The most expensive mistake I ever made.”

 

Yuen watched the shoes on the stairs quietly disappear, and something in his chest snapped.

 

BANG!

 

The adults jumped as Yuen’s 400-page textbook slammed against the coffee table.

 

The blizzard of a glare froze Mrs. Min where she sat, unable to bring her glass even the final few centimeters to her lips and it felt like the temperature of the whole house had dropped.

 

Even the man next to her had been startled to be as still as a statue. He didn’t even get a chance to express his disapproval of his wife’s statement before he was fixed in place. The malevolence in the teenager’s eyes sent a shiver down Mrs. Min’s spine and goosebumps began to form on her arms.

 

The sudden hostility struck fear into two full-grown adults, who had seen their fair share of aggression and disapproval in their lives. The inexplicable feeling of being prey that walked straight into a predator’s den was overwhelming.

 

The pressure didn’t release even as Yuen got up and disappeared from sight, taking the stairs two at a time.

 

Neither adult moved or breathed until the wine-glass in the woman’s hand began to slip and Mr. Min’s reflex to catch it snapped him out of it.

 

Yuen was difficult but he’d never looked at his father like that before, and while he’s seen his son’s anger many times, he had never felt threatened. He was just as shocked by his wife’s statement about Iahn, but he hadn’t expected his own son to react like that.

 

Yuen got far enough up the stairs in time to watch the door at the end close without a sound. Just like it always does. It wasn’t until he was staring at the door that he hesitated.

 

He came after the kid without thinking, but now that the door was shut, he didn’t know what to do; Standing in the hall awkwardly, he hadn’t thought about what to say, or that he might even make it worse because they weren’t close by any means. Close enough to sit on opposite couches and watch a TV show together but not close enough that his presence would be any sort of comforting.

 

While Yuen wrestled with what to do in the hallway, Iahn stood on the other side of his door.

 

He knew his mom never wanted to be a mother, but he didn't know that she felt that way about him… Iahn pressed a shaky hand over his mouth, choking on a sob, and stumbled to his bed, ripping the blanket off, and headed for the closet, but he couldn’t even find the strength to climb up.

 

As soon as his hands grabbed the shelves, he crumpled to the floor and barely found the will to tuck himself into the closet underneath his hanging shirts, waving his hand haphazardly to slide the door closed and let the darkness hide him away.

 

---

 

Iahn had lost his grasp on time. It slipped through his fingers like water and he couldn’t tell if it had been days or weeks. He thought the numb feeling from before had been bad, but this was nothing. He felt nothing but a heavy fog over his mind all the time. He could barely hear what the students around him talked about, the words they said didn’t register. He had never just stared at something for so long before and he found himself staring at everything now. No lights on up in his brain, his eyes just found something to rest on and stayed put. The only time he ate was when someone put something in front of him.

 

He barely noticed the three at school who had started sitting with him at lunch or the worried looks they passed between each other as he didn’t even bother to pick at his food, eating one mechanical bite at a time as slow as a sloth.

 

Life at home was harsh; Life at school became worse, and he felt like he was operating his body from outside of it. But unlike before when it would only happen for an hour or so, it felt like he’d hit the reverse button and now he spent most of his time outside his body, only feeling like he was present for maybe an hour or two a day when he had his sketchbook out or was laying on the couch with no expression and just letting the TV play whatever when there was no one but Yuen home.

 

He didn’t even notice that Yuen joined him a lot. That they had continued the impromptu movie-watching that had started weeks ago, and he didn’t notice that the teenager had been paying more attention to him. Going over to his friend’s house less often and spending more time at home, glancing at him in the car during every ride to & from school, at a loss for what to do.

 

In Iahn’s more clear-headed moments he felt as though he’d gone catatonic and sometimes he was even grateful for it.

 

Part of him wanted to come back, ...another stronger part wanted to drift even further and never come back.

 

He had no motivation to do anything other than run away. Even the smallest daily things, from getting out of bed to brushing his teeth, had become chores that were either done automatically one motion at a time without a thought in his head or were almost insurmountable to do.

 

Even art — when he tried to distract himself — started to take a turn for the worse. It became harder to open his notebook and not just because his recent pages had been filled with darker themes that made him feel a strange mix of his insides twisting and relating. But it was all he could conjure when he put pencil to paper, with the sole exception of when his friends were around. When his friends were around and he could hear their voices, it was easier to draw things with a slightly lighter theme and when he talked to Grandpa on the phone, his chest felt heavy, but he was able to feel something. And he missed his art room more than ever. The room that belonged to him. Where he felt safe to hide and express whatever it was he was feeling, instead of this; Having no place to put this feeling and no place to let it go.

 

---

 

Iahn has been quiet for weeks. Even Yuen’s dad noticed, but only because Iahn came home the other night with a shirt lathered in food that looked like he just walked off a sitcom set after a scene where a whole bucket of spaghetti had been thrown on him. And when they asked what happened, he didn’t even look at them, just went upstairs and started the shower before going straight to his room.

 

His mom wasn’t even concerned about him. She was more concerned about the mess he just tracked into the house and blamed him for messing around too much at school.

 

Yuen’s blood boiled and he snapped at her for the umpteenth time, only to be cut off by his father as usual before Mrs. Min rolled her eyes.

 

“Ugh, please. He’s a boy. He was probably just fooling around with his friends for his birthday. Better than moping around missing his grandpa every second of the day.”

 

“Birthday?” Yuen’s face scrunched in confusion.

 

“Honey, why didn’t you say something? We should get him a present, shouldn’t we, Yuen?” Yuen’s father looked at him expectantly as if Yuen would know what the Hell to get him. And it irked Yuen even more that he didn’t have that answer.

 

The woman rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue, “You don’t have to make it so complicated. He has a birthday every year, he won’t even remember what you get him in a few months. Just grab something from the toy aisle at the store.”

 

Yuen was utterly dumbfounded by what he was hearing. How old does she think Iahn is? What kind of person puts this little thought into their kid’s birthday present?

 

That little conversation ensured that breakfast the next morning was as awkward as imaginable and then some.

 

The silence was unbearable but for once, Iahn was the only one who didn’t feel it. Until Mr. Min cleared his throat and started talking, “I hear your birthday is coming up, Iahn.”

 

Iahn glanced at the ever-serious-looking man sitting across from his mother. His slow, unenthusiastic chewing came to a halt and that was all the response Mr. Min got.

 

“Is there something you’d like for the special day?”

 

Iahn glanced at his mom who wasn’t even looking at him, sat prettily like a refined lady (she isn’t), enjoying her breakfast as usual.

 

Iahn swallowed.

 

Under normal circumstances, he would never ever ask this of someone else, but his mom — and everyone else in this city — have made it clear how they feel about him. The worst that could happen is they say no. So what has he got left to lose?

 

“I… wanna see grandpa.”

 

“Your grandfather?” The man raised an eyebrow in confusion, not expecting that to be what he wanted, and in the back of his mind, he realized that this was the first time Iahn had willingly spoken to him, with or without prompt.

 

“Ugh,” his mom dropped her spoon which made Iahn flinch. “Not this again.”

 

Mr. Min glanced at his wife before looking back at Iahn and for once, ignored her frustration. “Are you sure? You can see your grandfather any time when your mother has time to take you. You wouldn’t prefer a new phone or a video game?”

 

Iahn shook his head and pushed his food around his plate. He had no appetite; never mind the fact that he was offered a video game when he doesn’t have anything to play it on.

 

Mr. Min still scares him but not as much as when he first came here, and right now he couldn’t care less. Whether that was due to simple acclimation or the numb apathy that had slowly been consuming him was anyone’s guess.

 

While the fear was mostly gone, there was … no connection either. Just an empty nothingness left where it used to be.

 

“You can’t go see your grandfather, Iahn. I don’t have time for that.” the woman seethed at the boy who curled in on himself more.

 

“It’s alright, dear.” Mr. Min calmed his wife. “If that’s really what Iahn wants, then Yuen can take him.”

 

Yuen choked on his juice.

 

---

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