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Oh Brother
by Miimaas
<< Chapter >>
Not beta-read
The days following their trip were weird. Maybe the atmosphere at home had always been weird and Yuen just never noticed because he was too busy being frustrated and fed up, but he liked to think he wasn’t that unobservant.

If Iahn noticed the change in Yuen’s behavior, he was pretty good at hiding it, or maybe he just hadn’t realized that it was Yuen who was getting his favorite cereal box down for him in the morning and leaving it on the counter so he didn’t have to climb halfway onto the counter to get it. He didn’t notice that Yuen had started waiting for him to be ready to go before he headed for the garage door, instead of just heading out whether Iahn was ready or not.

Yuen wasn’t good at this. Being considerate or nice didn’t come naturally to him, and it was worse when he felt awkward, and after that trip...awkward didn’t even come close to how he felt.

He finally took his friend's advice — and near desperate urging — and tried to be nicer to Iahn, but it’s hard, man. It’s hard to try and build something over the ashes of the bridge he burned the minute Iahn stepped through the front door.

It took him two days to buck up the courage to ask his friends to help him and tell him how to “be nice” because he knew he’d get shit for it, but surprisingly he didn’t get as much shit as he thought. They were mostly just excited that he was finally going to stop being an ass, and some of them were all too eager to suggest things to help improve his relationship with Iahn.

They still teased him about it with dramatic comments about how they wished he would be that nice to them, which all ended in Yuen slapping them with a random compliment just to watch their dramatic pantomimes of dying and questioning who he was and what they had done with their friends. Yuen shook his head with a fond smile just remembering it. Dumbasses. He wasn’t good at expressing himself, but he loved his stupid friends and their antics, and it was uncanny and somewhat disturbing how many similarities he was seeing between his friends and Iahn’s every day.

Yuen didn’t even know if Iahn noticed he had stopped actively ignoring him, much less if Yuen was being nice to him. He has always had his own way of being nice to someone and showing he cared, and it had never been obvious. He didn’t like to be obvious about it. When he got his friend’s gifts it was at random times and he would never say anything, just toss a package at them and say “It came,” before leaving them dumbfounded to open their random present and other stuff like that. He didn’t need other people to know what he did for them, he didn’t want to be praised or thanked, he just did things, and it had resulted in some confusing times but if asked, he never denied it if he was the culprit of something. He just did things to do something for people he cared about. Like I said, very not obvious. Not the sort of thing that you would notice unless you spent a lot of time around him.

Yuen didn’t really expect Iahn to notice that he was being nicer, frankly, that may have been more alarming because it would have meant that his attitude before was so bad that even basic human decency would have raised the bar exponentially, and he didn’t know whether or not he to be grateful that it wasn’t that bad.

One thing was for sure, this was gonna be a slow process and it wasn’t going to be easy.

Iahn doesn’t trust him and the degree of caution he exhibited in their day-to-day life was heartbreaking to some and a daily punch in the gut to Yuen, because he seemed to be most cautious of Yuen’s kindness, which was frustrating but he only had himself to blame; Venting to his friends about it only resulted in them reminding him of what a grade-A asshole he’s been and can be.

Yuen hated that he had to be reminded that Iahn gets bullied all the time. What did he expect of the kid? Iahn was a traumatized thirteen-year-old with more baggage to unpack than anyone on Earth really knew and was terrified of him, with good reason. Yuen’s temper could scare full-grown adults, much fewer children, and he wasn’t the most mentally healthy or stable person himself.

Iahn probably expected a cruel, twisted joke every time Yuen was even a semblance of good to him, even though Yuen had never done anything like that to anyone. He was the type to wear his disdain on his sleeve. If he didn’t like someone, he wouldn’t be nice to them at all, it was as simple as that, but Iahn didn’t know Yuen that well. He didn’t need to, he already knew how to identify Yuen’s moods better than anyone has any right to, and it was a horrifying sleepless night that resulted in an uncharacteristic 3 am call to Parker (who wasn’t asleep yet thankfully) when Yuen realized it was a trauma response for PTSD. Iahn was legitimately scared of him — and his dad and even his own mother, not just apprehensive or anxious.

Yuen sat on his bedroom floor for hours, just thinking about that can of worms. He had his own issues that had consumed his life before, and depression was no stranger, but Yuen had been going to therapy for years to deal with his issues and had been on medication since he was 16 when they deduced that it wasn’t just teenage angst and life-stress, but that his brain was actually malfunctioning in the happy chemicals area. Iahn clearly hadn’t. With how happy he was around his grandfather, he doubted that Gill or the kid even realized what was going on with him, and that was another painful realization to have in the wee hours of the morning with barely any sleep.

He wasn’t a psychologist but some things became obvious enough to speculate about when you knew certain things about trauma, and PTSD was something he was familiar with; not because he had it but because he had talked about it with his therapist. For a while, they speculated that Yuen himself had a form of it called complex PTSD or C-PTSD for short, but in the end, it was ruled out. Even so, Yuen had done his own research when it was mentioned, and combined with the knowledge from his therapist, he knew a thing or two about PTSD. He didn’t know if it was possible to have both versions but regardless, Iahn probably needed to see someone whether PTSD was involved or not. At the very least Yuen knew he had something going on. A thirteen-year-old doesn’t become that vigilant or jumpy by having a happy, healthy childhood.

Yuen scrubbed a hand over his face, feeling a headache eat at his brain.

Long story short, he hasn't gotten much sleep since he started paying attention to Iahn. The guilt was eating him alive and there were times he felt physically ill if he thought about it too much.

He didn’t know how to fix it, other than it wasn’t going to happen overnight. He was pretty sure Iahn would be suspicious of an apology even if he accepted it on the surface, and Yuen wasn’t good at apologies either so he would likely just struggle for nothing. His friends were insistent that he should do it anyway just to have said it, but while Yuen agreed that he needed to say it, he didn’t think right now was the time. He knew from experience that the timing of an apology of this level was just as important as the sincerity and for Iahn to know he was sincere, Yuen needed to gain his trust first, and that was the part he was struggling with. The best he had was to ‘be nice’ and prove that he was treating him differently and then apologize.

Part of him was hoping that Iahn would provide the opportunity by asking why he was being so nice to him or something, and then he could just say he was sorry for how he treated him and that he wouldn’t be like that anymore. Even if neither of them ever think of each other as brothers, they can still be nice to each other — maybe even graduate to friends someday.

Yuen’s friends weren’t being very subtle. They were so curious about what the Hell happened at Iahn’s grandpa’s place. Yuen’s mind was a difficult thing to change, and he had been hellbent on not liking Iahn since before they even met.

He had complained about that trip right up until they were on the train leaving. Then he spends one day there and all of a sudden he wants to be a good big brother? What kind of sage magician is that old man? Did they put a spell on him?

Yuen brushed their teasing off each time, not answering or avoiding the question entirely. They were happy to help him, even if he didn’t ask for it, and thankfully his friends understood him well enough that he didn’t need to say it in so many words for them to understand that he’d had a change of heart, and despite their teasing, they never directly called him out on it. Years of experience taught them that when dealing with Yuen’s feelings, it was best to dance around the actual words because it was a guaranteed way to get him to shut down. Yuen’s own feelings would paralyze his ability to communicate the blasted things if they confronted them head-on.

He was not the most emotionally intelligent person despite how sensitive he was to them. Maybe it was a defense mechanism because he was sensitive, like a callus formed over skin that’s been rubbed too often. Yuen is a difficult nut to crack. He can be mean and seem uncaring but inside he’s all soft. They all know this, but… they didn’t need to guess to know it would be difficult to convince Iahn of that, and they were right. They were so right half of them wanted to scream and the other half wanted to sigh out their own souls.

Always reminding Yuen to be a little warmer when the two were around each other, especially at school when Yuen was constantly overwhelmed by the number of people around and tended to let his words become short or non-existent and his scowl or deadpan was a permanent fixture on his face. Iahn was sensitive to people — in a very similar way to Yuen, but while Yuen reacted with anger and annoyance, Iahn went the other way and shrunk in on himself, nervous and quiet. They were used to Yuen’s seemingly cold demeanor because they knew he was just tired and overwhelmed, but Iahn didn’t know that, and if they tried to explain it would just sound like they were making excuses for their friend. If they had a little more of Iahn’s trust he might believe them, so that’s what Casey was working on since he was the closest to accomplishing it, gaining a little of Iahn’s trust.

In the meantime, after school, they invited him to play video games in the living room with them, got pizza and sweets since they were the only ones home and Yuen knew how much Iahn liked sweets. Honestly, that might have been the only reason that Iahn actually agreed. Never underestimate the power of Casey’s baking. However, as much as Iahn eyed the treats on the coffee table, he would never reach out for them himself. He would only eat the ones that Andy handed him, and Andy — bless his soul — kept doing so, going so far as to claim an entire plate of whatever treat was made for just him and Iahn, and no one said a word about it.

Parker, Casey, and Allen shared a look between themselves when they noticed that even if the plate was in Iahn’s lap, he would only take one if Andy did too. So, they tacitly decided to start tossing candy between each other, giving Yuen the perfect excuse to hand them to Iahn because he isn’t as big of a fan of sweet things, and yes he gets crap for it, he always has.

Because of the arrangements of the living room, Yuen always sat in one corner when his friends were over, giving “his” couch to them and sitting on the other side where Iahn usually sat when they had been watching tv shows together before. Andy, the literal sunshine, always sat on the other end of that couch and always wanted Iahn to sit next to him. Sometimes if the kid seemed uncomfortable, Parker would squeeze in with them (they could do that with Iahn being smaller than them) and act as a buffer between him and Yuen, and diffuse the tension for both of them. He was good at that. Parker was an angel and no one could convince any of them — least of all Yuen — otherwise.

With Parker and Andy around, no one could feel sad, and with Lucifer and Shi trying to cheat at video games on the floor in front of them by knocking the controllers in each other’s hands and being generally ridiculous, it was impossible for any tension to survive. Allen and Casey kept the conversation going and worked well with each other. Allen has always been good at getting people to open up, it was just in his nature to make people feel comfortable talking to him, and Casey was good at scolding when the other party — in this case, Iahn — started to get tired or uncomfortable, and Allen was good at taking that warning without offense.

Overall, they settled into an unlikely routine that quickly became comfortable. It wasn’t long before Parker saw that Yuen was stuck and decided it was time to step things up a notch. So, he started claiming Yuen’s spot on the couch before he could and made him sit next to Iahn. Iahn tensed at first and the awkwardness was about to make him throw up. So, Parker threw his legs over the two of them and the others shot him sneaky winks and subtle thumbs up and general looks of approval for his smart thinking. With his legs there, neither of them for one reason or another would push him off, and it gave them an excuse to not move away from each other either.

Yuen absent-mindedly picked at the loose threads on the holes in Parker’s jeans and halfway through their first movie for the evening, Parker glanced down to where his leg was being squeezed and was surprised to find Iahn completely invested in the fantasy movie with his hands unconsciously massaging Parker’s calf muscle, squeezing and unsqueezing; the tension almost completely gone from both of the boy’s bodies.

He couldn’t help the smile that peeled across his face as he stared at the two, side by side and unconsciously behaving in the exact same ways, like two copies of the same person. He wasn’t ashamed to put on a smug, proud smile and enjoy the little tickle at his knee and the rhythmic massage on his leg and watch the movie with the two distracted boys.

For the first time since they got Iahn to hang out with them, everything was peaceful and relaxed, and Parker couldn’t help a content sigh as he leaned his head back comfortably on the couch arm, allowing himself to bathe in the healing atmosphere. Life was stressful, especially as a teenager, and sue him, Parker was a nosy caring person and he didn’t like seeing any of his friends stressed out, especially Yuen because he was always the rock. Nothing affected Yuen, so when something did it was serious, and if it made him distressed it gave Parker the urge to maim and kill and present the boy with the corpse of whatever upset him. He couldn’t do that with this though because he liked Iahn, and it wasn’t Iahn’s fault that things were like this between the two of them and he was positive that the kid was just as — if not under even more duress by the situation than Yuen, and it had nearly killed Parker that he couldn’t find something to do about it until now until Yuen asked them for help. So forgive him for relishing in the win and zoning out under the coaxing of the tiny abstract sensations on his legs and plotting for more opportunities to pounce on.

Things did not stay so distracted or quiet once the movie was over, but Iahn did not get a chance to tense up again as Allen got up and flicked on the light, because before he knew it, there was a controller being pushed into his hands and Andy grinned at him, “Kick his ass for me.”

Iahn blinked and it took him a solid minute to realize what was happening. Lucifer had challenged Andy to play, but Andy didn’t want to so he pawned it off to Iahn, and now before he knew it, Iahn was sitting criss-cross on the floor next to the boy with a game booting up on the tv.

It was an FPS, Iahn soon recognized, and one he had played before at his friend’s house. They had played it almost religiously for weeks before he moved. The thought didn’t have time to make him upset before Lucifer was asking what color he wanted to be and Iahn stuttered over the word “B-blue,” under the sudden attention.

Excited wasn’t the word Shi would use to describe his feelings right now, because it wasn’t strong enough. He was elated as he watched Lucifer and Iahn go round after round of the deathmatch-style FPS game and Lucifer, the undefeated youngest of their group, did not win even once against Iahn and could not figure out why for the life of him.

It wasn’t long before they were making bets with candy about how long each of them could last against the preteen, and the answer was not long. Iahn obliterated anyone who picked up that controller and the rest couldn’t help shouting indistinctly with wild enthusiasm that was almost enough to distract Iahn from the game.

In the end, Iahn wound up with a unanimous victory and a veritable mound of candy that he hoarded like a dragon and ate until he was sick, groaning on the floor with too much of a stomachache to care or even notice that his head was practically on top of Yuen’s shoe with his face squished into the carpet as he held his middle like a woman about to go into labor, and felt like he was gonna be sick, much to everyone else’s amusement.

Thoughts about easing the tension between Yuen and Iahn had long disappeared in favor of just having a good time and Iahn received so many pats on the back of varying strength that he couldn’t be bothered to care who was touching him. There were three constants that he assumed were Andy and Parker just by proximity, two on his back and one on his head. It wasn’t the biggest help, to be honest, but it was the thought that counted and the colder hand gently stroking his head was the only one that actually made him feel any better; whether it was because it was similar to what his grandpa always did when he was sick, or because of the coolness, he wasn’t sure.

He felt better for a few minutes until the front door opened and the impending click of heels came through to the living room.

The presence of an unknown adult does wonders to straighten the group up.

The comforting hands left him and Iahn froze before dread flooded his veins at the voice, a voice that wasn’t deep like he was expecting but high and feminine, “Oh, hello boys. What’s wrong with him?”

It wasn’t Mr. Min coming home from work. It was his mother.

Yuen glanced down at Iahn by his feet as he stiffened.

“He ate too much,” Yuen explained simply and watched her brow twitch in confusion before her eyes landed on the candy wrappers on the table and Yuen watched like it was in slow motion as her face went from mildly annoyed to downright furious.

“How much of that junk did you eat!?”

“Sorry, that was our fault.” Casey jumped up, followed by Allen, both of them quick to take responsibility. They hadn’t met Iahn’s mom yet but they’d heard some stuff from Yuen about how she treats Iahn that was frankly...concerning. So they unintentionally used their responsible natures to abate the woman’s anger, and intentionally stood in front of her so Iahn wasn’t in her direct line of sight. And thanks to that, they didn’t notice Iahn’s presence fading into the background behind them.

Yuen made eye contact with Iahn after the kid sat up and Iahn’s heart lurched painfully as Yuen stared him down before the older boy subtly jerked his head towards the kitchen.

Iahn’s heart was beating like a rabbit’s as he nodded and scooted backward, crawling around the back of the couch and carefully standing at the same time that Yuen stood up and went around the side that was closest to the three in the other doorway.

With Allen and Casey distracting the woman with their pleasant atmosphere’s and asking her questions that made it seem like they were just interested in getting to know the woman rather than covering for Iahn, Yuen was able to move without too much notice and blocked her line of sight to the other doorway, as Iahn slipped into the kitchen. The kid really is quiet as a mouse and if it was still dark in here like during the movie, he doubts Iahn would have needed any cover to sneak out of the room unnoticed. The boys were able to draw the woman into the room enough that by the time Yuen returned to his seat on the couch, he only barely caught sight of Iahn’s feet as he escaped upstairs.

Yuen finally relaxed and let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.

Despite these evenings spent hanging out with him and his friends being successful, Iahn still seems like he’s only willing to be in the same room with him if his friends are there. He would probably skip meal times too if it was a choice, but fortunately or unfortunately those weren’t something that either of them could skip. He knows why but it was still frustrating and discouraging.

Tonight was the most interaction they’ve had and thankfully he could count all of it as positive for once, even if it was a little awkward now and then. Helping Iahn avoid his mother tonight was the first real big step in the right direction.

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avatar Xhak - 2021-09-11 08:55:41
candy to the rescue ... well candy and kindness ... which is sweeter by far
avatar TheYellowKing - 2021-09-11 07:44:57
Oh yeah! Got the squad standing up for you now Iahn!
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